Are you having trouble putting self-care needs at the top of your priorities list?

Are you aching to find a way of living after bariatric surgery that brings you satisfaction with your results — but you have no idea what you’re doing wrong or even where to start?

You may be surprised to know most women who have bariatric surgery struggle with challenges afterward that threaten their ability to thrive.

Katie Jay

“II found myself worrying all the time about regaining weight. My pants got a little tighter, and I started beating myself up inside. I didn’t know what to do. I knew diets hadn’t worked for me in the past. But I tried one anyway. I gained weight.” Linda

“I take care of my father, my best friend has cancer, my business is taking off, and my son was just diagnosed with ADD. I stopped taking my iron when I ran out. I totally forgot about it for a month. We get takeout 5 times a week.” Stephanie
“I ate two chocolate bars last night after my husband went to bed. It helps me relax. I don’t want to do it, but I can’t stop myself.” Brenda
“I started to get a lot of attention related to my weight loss. That was very uncomfortable for me. I turned to refined carbs, which changed everything. Over a few months, it dawned on me I couldn’t cheat anymore and still lose weight. Since that time, I have had glimpses of being free from refined carbs, but it’s never been the same since those early days.” Debra
You do not have to resign yourself to a lifetime of fear and discouragement with your bariatric surgery.

But what can you do, instead?

We get so many competing messages, like “diet!” and “don’t diet!” and “eat what you want!” and “don’t eat that!” and “Stop eating sugar and white flour!” and “Be flexible!”

It’s enough to make your head spin. Plus, at some level, maybe you sense that the challenges you are having after bariatric surgery will not all be resolved with just diet and food. Those things are important, but they are not everything.

Do you know what will work for YOU specifically to meet your bariatric-surgery goals?

To really thrive, you must create an environment that supports your success and well-being – and have enough of the right kind of support. Your environment includes the mental, emotional, psychological, and social aspects of your life.

Mentally, women who have bariatric surgery often beat themselves up until they feel defeated. They think things that make life harder and keep them from their goals.

Taking ownership of your thought life allows you to develop a positive point of view about how you feel, think, and act.

Emotionally, women may find themselves eating to relieve stress and to avoid intense feelings.

Learning how to identify and feel your feelings helps you get your deeper needs met. When you know what you really need, it’s much easier to take care of yourself. Being able to cope with life greatly improves the quality of your life. It increases your resilience and ability to change and grow.

And socially, women may not have the relationships they long for, or they feel unable to improve the relationships they have.

You might have trouble setting boundaries or choose friends who bring you down, instead of lifting you up. Healthy relationships create the space for you to be yourself and get your needs met.

Wouldn’t you like to create a new life in which you:

  • Know exactly what you need and how to get your needs met,
  • Feel compassion for yourself, and
  • Make self-care your highest priority?

Most bariatric surgery women absolutely want to have great self-care! But how is that possible?

How do you stop getting trapped in your old, unhelpful patterns?

Change makes us humans uncomfortable. It’s important to get the right kind of support so you can tolerate discomfort and get clarity on what you need to do to get unstuck. That way the discomfort of change opens you to the possibility for peace and joy.

It’s also important to make that change over time. Quick fixes don’t work. You must be willing to take all the time you need to make lasting change.

One practice I teach, which I call the Self-care Cycle, is the foundation for living well after bariatric surgery. Think about it. How will you find satisfaction with your bariatric surgery if you can’t put your self-care needs at the top of your priorities list?

I offer nonjudgmental support as you learn how to practice self-awareness. I show you, as I have shown many bariatric surgery women, how to tolerate the discomfort that often comes with deepened self-awareness.

I help you find a self-compassionate voice inside you, which will foster your willingness and ability to forgive yourself and imagine a new way of living that will truly work for you.

Finally, I show you how to practice unapologetic self-care. You’ll cultivate a beneficial mindset, honest emotional connections with yourself and others, psychological care and wellness, and healthier, more supportive relationships.

These practices will set a strong foundation for the changes you want to bring about in yourself and in your life.

Katie Jay’s Self-care Cycle

When I pause to notice what I am thinking, feeling, believing, and doing – without judgment,
And I embrace my true self – with kindness and empathy,
I become willing (and feel safe enough) to find a way of living that works for ME – without fear of “failure.”

When I live like this, my self-care is at its best and I am at peace.

But why should you listen to me?

I’m Katie Jay, a social worker and life coach specializing in bariatric surgery. I come to this work naturally. After my own bariatric surgery in 2004, I struggled with emotional eating, weight regain, and poor self-care. Over time, I realized I needed to stop feeling like a victim and take charge of my journey.

Through exploration and self-discovery, and with nonjudgmental support, I found my answers.

Now, I live what I teach every single day. With clients, my work is evidence-based, which means research has verified my approaches actually work.

Despite the challenges of overweight, obesity, bariatric surgery, and health problems; I understand how change happens and have found strategies and tactics you can use to help you transform.

I am always learning. I conduct research, find and create useful tools, develop new materials, and experiment to sort out what will really work for a group or individual.

I see each person or group I work with as unique and capable, with specific needs and values to be considered.

What to expect when you work with me:

  • I’m fully present. That means I am interested, curious, aware, and engaged in co-creating your coaching experience. It matters to me that you have the most useful and empowering experience possible.
  • I strive to be a good listener, someone who values your wisdom and who will reflect back what you are saying, so you can hear yourself think.
  • I adapt to your needs, helping you to find ways that work for you, rather than dictating what I think you should do. To that end, I use a variety of resources and techniques.
  • I provide feedback, insight, and information, as well as observation without judgment, to help you determine your course.
  • I ask challenging questions to help you see things in new ways.
  • I use humor and creativity as ways to gently move you to the edge of your comfort zone and into extraordinary personal growth.
  • I embrace and model the reality that we are gloriously imperfect beings – and yet we can be fulfilled, with meaning, purpose, and joy in our lives.
  • I use humor and creativity in my work – so expect to have some good laughs, possibly a tear or two, and feel safe and cared for as you grow and change.
Katie Jay
Katie Jay, MSW; Certified Life & Wellness Coach


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